Ruth's Memory

This is Ruth. She was Dylan's primary night nurse, and Tyler's weekend nurse, but most of all she was like a second mom to the whole family. I will cry the whole time I write this. Ruth and Nicole both tug on my heart when I speak of them. They are so special. As I read through Ruth's memory, I realized even more how special the relationship this family had with her, because she did truly know us, and truly appreciated everything about us. I can't put into words what we feel for Ruth, or what Tyler felt for her. There are so many things I want to say, and I don't know how to put them into words, because no matter what I say about Ruth, it will never be a true expression of how much we have come to love her. Ruth was a constant in Tyler's care, she has been with us since the beginning. I never worried when I had to be gone for the other boys when Ruth was his nurse. I think Tyler liked it too. Tyler was small, but his mind was always working overtime. He knew just how to play us (his family) to get what he wanted. I knew Ruth was part of us when I went up one weekend after being sick. Ruth looking so tired holding him in the chair, because he would not let her put him down. He wanted held, and he cried any time she tried to put him down, so Ruth sat in that chair cuddling TyTy, who now was happy as a clam. After Ruth left, Bob said, he is playing her like he does us. TyTy knew she was a part of this family, it was his initiation. She passed. TyTy knew she was more than just his nurse. She was someone who loved and cared for him. That night showed me that. Ruth is a wonderful nurse, but there is something more about her. There is a peace about her that when you are with her, you just feel like you are supported and cared about. She was such an amazing support to the boys, Bob, and I, but more importantly she was a rock of support and care for TyTy. Ruth came in the day TyTy went to sleep. I know how hard that was for her, but she was there the whole day for us, and most importantly TyTy. I know in my heart he knew she was there. She brought that day the same peace and love she did the last two years for him. I will never forget that day, Ruth leaned down and kissed TyTy on the forehead, I could almost see her own heart break, and then she looked me in the eyes, and at that moment I felt such a tremendous strength and love from her. She reached down kissed him again, and I could see her shake. As she walked out I whispered to TyTy, who had already passed, you were so blessed to have her love TyTy. He truly was.
Nothing I have said came out the way I want it to, or even touches all she is. I can't seem to say the right words. Ruth is an amazing woman, nurse, and person. TyTy was so fortunate to have her in his life, so blessed to have her hands trying to heal him. As I read through this memory Ruth wrote, the tears fall so fast. It is the most beautiful thing I have ever read. Why? When she walked in TyTy's room, she didn't just hang a med and then leave, she held on to the same memories we did. She treasured the same memories we hold so close to us now. Ruth is more than Dylan and TyTy's nurse, she IS a part of us always and forever. TyTy knew, he knew, the heart of gold that lay in Ruth. Here is Ruth's Memory.

I'll try to put some memories of TyTy into words.

It was always a special moment for me when he first woke up from a nap. I'd be standing at his crib and he'd peek out at me, then scan the room to see if his mommy or daddy was there. If the room was bare, he'd reach his arms up to me. Never once did he ever reach out to me if Bob or Peg were in sight. I also loved to see him napping on Peg's lap. He'd be draped across her legs with his arms spread. So absolutely relaxed, knowing he was in his most safe place. I loved how he always kept his blanket within reach and poked his little fingers through the holes.

Tyler was so impatient sometimes. He didn't have much patience when I was doing 'nurse' things like giving him a bath or lubing up his skin. He'd holler and insist that I stop immediately. His eyes would say, "LET'S PLAY NOW." I loved having time to hold him and sing a song or read a book. He loved sitting in the stroller at the nurse's desk. He'd hold on tight to his race car steering wheel and every once in a while hit the noise button with his thumb and grin from ear to ear to get your attention. I loved all the other 'boy' toys that were scattered around his crib. It was so obvious that Dylan or Brandon had picked out some of them just for Ty Ty. My favorite picture of Ty Ty is dressed in the lion costume for Halloween.

My most precious memories of Tyler were on Sunday evening when the whole family was together. It was chaos with everyone talking at once and Dylan calling out to show you something on the computer. I'd step in the room and over Brandon's bare feet as he lay partway under the table. This was the best fun for Tyler to have his family together. These times, even though in the hospital, were the best they could be for Ty Ty. He'd grin and laugh out loud, loving it when Dylan and Brandon would tell him things.

I'm glad I was a small part in Tyler's life. He will be in my heart forever.