Just To Talk To You TyTy

Just To Talk To You TyTy


Hi TyTy,

Tonight I just want to talk to you
it's all I have now that you're gone
pictures that fill this web page
and the pain that seems to carry on

It hurts when I miss you TyTy
but it hurts more when I think of all you lost
the decisions we made and all we did wrong
and you baby boy paid the high cost

Every night I try to lay my head
I say outloud dont think about that day
but the tears fall and I see your blue lips
and the memory just wont fade away

I pace through the night alone
look at pictures of you so happy
sometimes it makes it hurt worse
when I think about all you could be

I have this picture in my head
and its the one memory that stays with me
I drove you around the nurses station for hours
you smiled the whole time you were so happy

I dont know what hurts worse
the sight of your blue lip
or that happy wagon ride
that fell from life's grip

We fought so hard for you
even during pregnancy
we always had the threat of your death
I never thought this would be our reality

Sometimes I stare into space
try to concentrate with all my might
pretend you are staring back at me
while I hold you so very tight

Some take that wrong
that I just want you here with me
I have found its not the without you part that hurts
its all that you got cheated out of sweet baby

You should be playing outside
running with your brother
wrestling with daddy
cuddling with your mother

I just wanted to talk to you tonight TyTy
you know how mommy used to
I dont know if you ever listened
but you always pretended to

It was always you and me buddy
all the trouble you could get into
remember the box of cereal you dumped
I just couldn't be mad at you

How many times you would sit by me
while my deadline was needing to be met
I would just get the story finished
You would push escape and I would fret

I never got mad though, I'd laugh
you would flash that smile at me
I couldn't be mad at those chubby cheeks
and you knew it too sweet baby

You were always so warm
we all liked to cuddle you
you made us all so happy TyTy
I hope and pray we did the same for you

I just wanted to talk to you baby
I got an email from Ruth and Nicole
They miss you so much too TyTy
you've left such a huge hole

You aren't forgotten TyTy
you left such a huge footprint
we can all still see and feel you
we just wish it wasn't heaven sent

I hope you are warm enough
I worry about that I know its weird TyTy
but it hurts to know you could feel alone
and I can't hold or cure your cry

I guess I should say goodnight TyTy
seems weird to have to let you go
I should be doing your meds and CVN now
my hands dont know where to go

You should be refusing to sleep now
playing your fishy songs on your crib toy
I would be so darn tired TyTy
I would still smile at you sweet boy

That's what you did TyTy
made everyone happy
no matter the worst mood
you would make us smile so easily

You were a force we can't forget
courage and spirit we could never add up to
every day I miss you Tyler
the more I admire you

You suffered the greatest pain
fought the hardest fight
laid alone so many weekends
slept away from home at night

You were the one who was strong
the one who suffered so
you are the one who was cheated
out of your chance to grow

I lay down here weak and beaten
while your courage is soaring high
I'm proud of your strength in spirit
I just wish I could see it with my eye

I will say good night now TyTy
maybe I can bring myself to talk again
I feel like a failure because I can't be strong
like you were our little champion

One more thing,your brother is really sick now TyTy
we're scared of what this could be
can you just hover over him tonight
keep him tucked in your spirit safely

Goodnight precious one
I'm so proud of you
sweet dreams in the sky TyTy
I'll sleep dreaming of you