Will You Walk With Me TyTy?

Will You Walk With Me TyTy?

Hi TyTy it's momma
Just want to talk to you
Alot of things have happened
I feel I need to catch up with you

If you are looking down on us
you've seen we've been out more each day
I hope you know it doesn't mean we miss you less
and the pain hasn't went away

Every day is different
one day we want to keep busy
the next we want to cry
because it just seems to be easy

One day we wake up
and we see you in the sun
others we wake up in pain
because you should see the sun too little one

Some days we think we did all we could
other days the guilt takes us away
Sometimes we are in different places
and anger towards each other fills the day

Some days we find enough time
to feel it all in one rollercoaster day
we try to remember only we feel the pain
because yours was taken away

Sometimes it helps us to think that way
it hurts to think of all your pain in your time here
I guess we were selfish in hoping
you could be painless but still be here

Ruth and Nicole came to see us
they got to see where you used to play
They haven't forgot you TyTy
your memory will never go away

We laughed and cried
looked through pictures of you
talked about the good times
and the sad ones too

I can't tell you how good it felt
to see them walk in the doorway
it was like seeing family after so long
we lost alot of family as well that day

I never thought I would miss that place
we never knew we would miss all that we do
I always thought we would say so long to the skywalk
as we walked out holding a healthy strong you

I tell you TyTy-before that day
people forgetting you was my worst fear
now I see I never have to worry again
they have you in their heart no matter passing year

They got to see where we did your CVN
they seen the toaster you would always fill
we showed them the laps you made in the living room
told them how you never could sit still

Dylan was heartbroken he missed them
he actually cried tears TyTy
I guess he has more of an attachment than he thinks
I'll never forget seeing him tell Nicole good-bye

It was hard to see them go
they will always be in our hearts each day through
my heart firmly believes TyTy
you will always be in theirs too

Momma actually got out of the house
I went to your Grandma's one Sunday
I went to a party for a little while
Danced with Joe before I snuck away

I went into a store to get groceries
the first time since you floated away
I do remember why I leave your brothers at home now
learned that old lesson right away

I walked to your resting place
sit my bottom down before your stone
the first time I could bring myself
to walk in public alone

I talked to you and I'm sorry
you looked down at me cry
sometimes that picture on the stone
isn't enough to fill my longing eye

The sun was shining down on me
I asked if you were smiling up there
the strangest thing happened
that normally would of given me a scare

Momma is scared of birds
I get made fun of but it's true
but soon after I asked about your smile
I think I got my answer from you

A little bird flew down low
sat right next to me
Momma wasn't scared this time
it sat there quietly

That little birdie never left
until I stood to say good-bye
I took it as your sign
that your smile was the sun in my eye

Alot has happened TyTy
and you never left our heart
we shed many tears still
and we always will because we are apart

I want to make sure you know TyTy
that these steps don't pack you away
every step I have taken
I've held you in my heart along the way

I know there will be days
I still don't want to get out of bed
when your loss is too much
and guilt wont leave my head

Wherever my day takes my heart and spirit
and when you look down on me
know you are with me always
no matter where the grief has taken me

I'm not taking steps away from you
I hope you are taking them with me
any steps I take from here on out TyTy
I take with my heart full of your memory

Momma wanted to make sure you knew this
if I had the choice I would bring you back to me
but I've learned a big lesson TyTy
I can't control everything even if I am a mommy

I will try to take my steps
will you walk with me TyTy?
Smile when I can bring myself to smile?
use your angel wings to wipe my cry?

When I take a step forward- I will carry you
a step back and I'm holding you tight
when I'm stuck in one place I'm rocking you
no matter what- when I lay my head I dream of you at night