A Mommy's Real Pain

A Mommy's Real Pain

Just when I think
my heart could again beat
I sit here crying on your picture
in complete defeat

I knew rough days would still come
but I'm never prepared
why can't your light still burn
why couldn't you be spared

You fought so hard TyTy
it's more than the hurt in me
didn't your fight deserve
to let you live healthy?

I tried to tell myself
that heart repair would begin
one look at your eyes TyTy
I knew denial is where I've been

You had the most beautiful eyes TyTy
they would light up for many mile
and no heart could resist the love felt
when you added them with your smile

The hurt is crippling
my mind is fried
my heart is broken
eyes weak from tears cried

My arms are so empty
my eyes are too
I'd give anything
to see the sight of you

Today as I washed dishes
I thought about how old you would be
I should be looking down to see a little TyTy
pulling on my pants trying to get me

I looked down today
to an empty wood floor
there will never be little TyTy
holding his cup up wanting more

There'll never be a third birthday
I'll never hear you say I love you
I'll never see you get on a school bus
or teach you to tie your shoe

I'll never feel your arms
wrap around me for a hug so tight
I'll never have to hold you
because of a bad dream at night

There'll never be a little TyTy
running around for me to chase
no scolding you for throwing a ball
that knocked down my favorite vase

Every mommy should get these memories
they shouldn't be taken so soon TyTy
mommies shouldn't feel the emptiness
that bring their endless cry

Mommies shouldn't be left to grieve
left to suffer the hurt that wont die
wonder what their children could of been
had they not been forced to say goodbye

Mommies shouldn't suffer
the greatest hurt of all
knowing their child was special enough to conquer the world
but didn't get the chance because heaven made it's call


TyTy I miss you so much baby. So much words can't even express. Mommy misses you baby. i miss you