There's No Justice In TyTy's Life/Broken In Reality

There's No Justice In TyTy's Life
(I stole this Title from TyTy's PA Steve)

I can feel the burning ache inside
all the things we didn't do
did we say everything we should of
how many times did we say I love you

Did we give up too fast
should we given you more time
did you still have the strength
to fight the uphill climb

Should we have went different route
taken you somewhere other than there
should we have said more or kept quiet
when it came to your constant care

Did we spend enough time with you
were you scared when you woke up at night
did we do all we could for you TyTy
did we do anything right

Did we say I love you
before they placed you to sleep
did you know how proud we were of you
in all our saddened weep

When strangers stood over you
the last time you were awake
did you know mommy and daddy were there
trying to stop death's break

Your time here was short
no one person can deny
did we make the most of two years for you
before you were forced to say goodbye

We thought in time we could show you
all that you had missed the last two years
we kept fighting in the hope
there would pay off for your sweat and tears

Should we have accepted your fate
and given you a life before death
should we have walked you out of that hospital
before you took your last breath

These are regrets I carry
not for me but for you
all the things we should of done
all you didn't get to

Was it enough TyTy
to just see your family
the outside world didn't exist
so much you didn't get to see

I thought there would be smoother road
a chance for you to catch up with the other
I thought they were gonna be able to fix you
just like they did your older brother

I'm sorry TyTy for all we did wrong
I thought there would be a longer mile
I always thought we would look back
and say we conquered it with a smile

Now I sit here as the clock turns four
only your picture with your precious grin
wishing I could race back into time
grab you right out of heaven

My heart is shattered and bleeding
for all we took away from you
all we couldn't provide you
all the damn hurt we put you through

There is no comfort now
there is no way to fix you, death is set
you lay alone and lifeless
we live with much deserved pain and regret


Broken In Reality

It's three in the morning TyTy
your little body keeps running through my head
I miss rubbing my hands through your hair
to relax your little eyes into going to bed

I miss picking you up in my arm
bouncing your little bottom around
listen as you giggled outloud
and made that squeeking sound

I miss watching you crawl
across the living room floor
always had to keep an eye on you
I don't have to anymore

I miss holding your little fingers
as they clutched mine too
I miss rubbing your rough feet
just snuggling up to you

I miss watching your little hands
weave your fingers through your hair
I miss sweeping you up in my arms
and for hours keeping you there

I miss walking into your room in the morning
seeing the big smile you would give me
knowing you were loved and adored
you couldn't wait to be picked up by mommy

My heart cracks and my tears fall TyTy
when I think of the next thing I miss
I could hold you all day baby boy
but nothing compared to this

I miss you reaching your arms to me
you did it when you were scared or in fear
you knew mommy would protect you
guard you with my own scared tear

You would curl into my neck
your arms would wrap around too
I would run my hand down the back of your head
it's okay now baby mommy has you

A kiss on your red stained cheeks
I can almost feel your skin now
Oh I wish my hands could feel you
hold you again somehow

I miss the denial that supported me
through the last thirty day
I keep waiting for you to reappear
it wasn't death that took you away

Time has passed by slowly
there is no denial left to run through
my heart is broken in the reality
we're never again gonna feel you