If You Had Your Chance

If You Had Your Chance

I had a dream last night
I dont know whether to smile or cry
all three of my boys grown with me
grandchildren running by

The house was full of chaos
just like you always liked it to be
your dad and I were both there
another thing you loved so greatly

Our tired old bodies
required us to sit in our chair
we watched you boys play with your kids
while we tried to keep each one in our stare

The whole dream stopped
there was light around you
you kept moving in this dream
my mind wanted to capture you

Small framed and handsome
as I knew you would be
your eyes sparkled their blue
whenever you stared back at me

My aged heart and soul
never wanted to let you out of my sight
I watched as you loved your children
playing with and then holding them tight

You walked over to me
handed me your newest one
you kissed me on the forehead
here mom hold my little one

I held your baby in my arm
it felt like holding you all over again
where did this dream take me
is it a place I can stay in

I looked at you smile
as you watched me with your own baby
for a moment everything stopped
this is how it was supposed to be

You there in your all of twenty nine age
playing in the house you grew up in
your dad and I watching with pride
at all the love you three boys were swarmed in

I seen you wrestle with your brothers
you all gave up saying we're too old
your dad and I switch over the little one
it's time for him to hold

All three boys sitting in the living room
kids scattered everywhere
my heart giggles inside
as I think about all the trouble you caused in there

Time to go mom and dad
time to go home to your own wife and family
hugs and kisses are handed out
then your glowing soul gets to me

You grab me and give me a hug
its the tightest hug I've ever felt
you were always a cuddler
your touch could always melt

I didn't want to let go
I know what would be
Mom it's okay I will be back
you can let go of me

You are so handsome Ty
do you know that young man
yes because you always tell me mom
but I think you are a biased fan

Dylan and Brandon say their goodbyes
you wave and say you will see them again
the kids jump on your back
breaking the hug we are in

A tear falls down my face
I know this is all I will miss
you tell me once more I will see you again
and you give my forehead a kiss

You said I will see you later mom
and you walked out the door
my eyes lifted themselves open
you weren't there anymore

I have to push myself to face reality
you were my baby who died at two
the dream I just danced myself in
will never come true