Littlest Hero

Two years in a hospital
walls were white and plain
your little eyes got bored
but you smiled through the pain

Your little body got tired
medicine trickled through your vein
dopey and groggy
you smiled through the pain

Puffy little fingers
gripping in strain
you still managed
to smile through the pain

A tube stuck in your tiny nose
a tug when you felt it drain
you turned your precious head
and smiled through your pain

Your stomach grumbled
GVH left its stain
your stomach came up
and there was your smile in pain

You fought each and every day
just to have the chance to grow
yet you still showed your beautiful smile
Tyler, you are our little hero

Tyler's Smile

It would beam from your chubby cheek, light up the darkest sky, your little heart would dance,
joy flowed from your blue eye,

Your eyes would disappear
in your fluid filled face
your tiny nose would crinkle up
a cackle would leave a trace

You'd pull your arm up
as if you were shying away
it would warm my weak heart
on even the coldest day

We miss it so dearly
as we sit in lonely pain
We miss seeing your joy
We wish we could see you smile again

Dear TyTy

Dear Ty Ty

Dearest Tyler
These feelings are for you
we are scared
words are all we have to run to

We're scared now that we lost you
Scared we'll forget your cries
lose the clear picture
of your big beautiful eyes

Fear overwhelms us
will we always remember your touch
will we always feel the warmth
we felt in your hand clutch

We want to be able to run to you
pull you against our beating chest
feel your strong heartbeat
and feel truly blessed

We never want to forget
the smile on your face
Now we're left with pictures
taking your place

We dread the what if's
don't want to ask why
We don't want to see your empty bed
while your brothers watch us cry

We wanted to kiss three boys
as we tuck you into bed
We don't want to pace all night
regretting all that wasn't said

We wanted to watch you step on to grass
See the wind ruffle your hair
Watch you squint your eyes
as you stand in the sun glare

We want to hug you Tyler
not a stone in a dark cemetery
We're so scared of missing you
Love mommy

Dada

Dada, I'm okay
this I promise you
I wanted to stay
but I was too tired to

You did all you could
I know you never gave up on me
You would of fought forever
if it would of saved me

Nothing felt better
than sitting on your knee
holding my blanket
and watching TV

You were my daddy on earth
and your my daddy in heaven too
It's not your time now dada
but I will wait for you

Until then dada
remember my big smile
and when its unbearable
it's okay to let your mind wander for awhile

It's okay dada
I have a much better view
the star in the corner of the sky
is daddys little boy shining on you

My Star, Mommy

My Star, Mommy
(Ty Ty December 30, 2005)

No more needles
the pain is gone
I know you ache
but I know you'll let me live on

I lay in the heavens
no one poking me
I can smile with ease
my struggle no longer in my
memory

I run with laughter
through the clouds on high
no morning rounds
I have no reason to cry

I play with the angels
soaring through the sky
they promised to take care of you mommy
so I could say good-bye

I'm craddled by the sunshine
it holds me close and dear
mommy I will be okay
it is so peaceful up here

The moon is my keeper
no vitals through the night
I lay with my past loved ones
until the morning light

Mommy dont worry
I dont hurt anymore
I will see you in time
walk through heaven's door

Until then look up high
there is a star shining bright
I'm always in your heart
Mommy, I'll shine on you every night

Written before his passing
Tyler's Wish

I wish I had the joy
of stepping out of a hospital room
I want to feel the hope of light
instead of being swarmed in gloom

I want to feel the sunshine
let it shower my skin
feel it warm my touch
as the rays soak in

I want to stand on grass
let it poke my feet so small
I want to sit outside when daddy mows
because the grass is too tall

I want to play in the sand
watch momma cringe when it goes to my lip
I want to squirm in it's grain
without fear of the germs in my grip

I want to see the sky
the birds soaring through air
I want to stand in the rain
let the breeze blow through my hair

I want to see the moon
the one mommy and daddy said they'd rope for me
My brothers say I'm their star
I want to see one shining brightly

I want to climb trees
when the time comes around
chase after my brothers
until my much smaller and tired body falls to the ground

I want to walk outside
inhale the day and night
I want to wake up today
and not have to so painfully fight

I want my brothers to hold me
pick on me some too
I want to be in my own crib
without doctors poking me the whole day through

I want to look at my daddy
and not see such tired eyes
I want to look at my mommy
and not see her hurting cries

I want my family together
so I can see life can be happy
I want to see what life is like
when I can live it pain free

Mommy and Daddy say it'll be worth it
when all is said and done
they also said God answers wishes and prayers
I hope he heard this one