TyTy's Birthday

I've thought about what to say, and all I could think about were what these lyrics had to say. I haven't been able to write in awhile, so I will let these words say what I try to tell myself every day since the day you were taken away. There is no reason. It's just how it is.
Many people say it's just a date, or it was a happy day, celebrate, but when you lose someone so dear the happy days become sad days no matter how hard you try not to let them become that way.
I know these pictures have been posted before, but I only had two years to work with, and to be honest these are some of my favorite pictures of you. Nammy and I would always talk about how no matter how crappy you felt you knew when it was your day. When it was your birthday you knew you were the center of attention, and it was for you only. I will never forget the first time I handed you a present on your birthday, you acted like for me?
You would be four years old today TyTy. Wow. I try to imagine what you would be like, but I guess I can't. I am supposed to be telling you to calm down and not get so excited, hiding your presents, and hiding your cake, going out of my mind to try and get everything done, but I'm not. I'm trying to find a way not to hurt so bad because you can't have what every child should be given-- to celebrate the day you came into our lives.
We plan on getting you some balloons and letting them go later tonight. I think we'll do that every year.
I would do anything to hear you smile or laugh, or look up at me right now. To see you opening presents and to give you that WOW present, and to see you happy. Watching your eyes light up when we all sing to you. My heart wishes you were here so you could make a wish and blow out the candles. We miss you TyTy, and I cannot get anymore words out to say how bad this hurts.*tears* I'm sorry baby. You deserved more. You did *tears*
I want to thank everyone who sent cards, and well wishes, and emails, it still means so much.

It's your birthday today TyTy. I'm so sorry you're not celebrating it baby doll. I love you so much, momma misses you *tears*

There aint no reason

There aint no reason things are this way

Its how they always been and it tends to stay

I can't explain why we live this way, we do it everyday

Preachers on the podeum speaking of saints

Prophets on the sidewalk begging for change

old ladies laughing from the fire escape cursing my name

I got a basket full of lemons and they all taste the same

A window and a pigeon with a broken wing

You can spend you whole life working for something,

Just to have it taken away

There Ain't no reason

Things are this way

It's how they've always been and its tends to stay

I dont know why I say

The things that I say

But I say them anyway

There ain't no reason things are this way

Its how its always been and it tends to stay

I can't explain why we live this way,

We do it everyday.